on Not being chirchiree
Wow, what a tiring week. I'm on probably the easiest rotation of the year (psych), yet why am i so damn tired??? I was fasting yesterday (yup, save em to the last possible moment) and i just came home and dropped on the couch. After waking up to Fasahat offering me some dates and fresh quesadilla i shot back up to get ready for halaqa. Some time between getting up and jetting out of the house (I'm late!) I snapped at Fasahat about something or the other... I apologized before I left and after I came home but I could tell the damage had been done. He had a bad day at work too and had previously told me not to yell at him about anything. man talk about diarrhea of the mouth....
It got me thinking. I was looking forward to ramadan starting - but now im a bit apprehensive about it. Because the combination of no food, little sleep, traffic and being on my feet all day (I cant get myself to buy those expensive Dansco's) makes me downright chirchiree.... and no, there isnt an english word that can capture the essence of that word. Irritable is close. I just cant help it. Of course, I know thats what Ramadan is all about, striving to improve yourself, being patient, being thankful to Allah for all that one has... I feel like the last two years in med school have distanced me so far from the height of iman, taqwa and self control that i had previously achieved. Being patient with the current challenges and tests has never seemed harder. Why does it seem like fasting was a breeze before?
It just means im going to have to make an extra effort to keep that frustration inside, to try to realize how much i have to be thankful for to dissipate it. The hardest thing about this ramadan will be the psychological challenge of keepin it cool. inshAllah i hope i am successful at this task....
posted by Saba @ 3:19 PM
2 Comments:
Ramadan started!?!?! :)
Subhan'Allah, I felt the SAME WAY as Ramdan was coming. Leading a busy life, its hard at times to remember the glorious month that we are in. But I have found some solice that I wouldn't mind sharing. If you've got a long drive home from work/school, got a long walk, or like me, sit on the subway for about a 1/2 hour just staring at people, a good way to 'vent' is to talk with Allah SWT; and I'm not talking about making dua' and such, I'm talking about VENTING! I'm talking about how things in this world are so unexplainable; how it's just not fair to have to do this much work; how this subway goes slower than melting ice cream - WHATEVER! Surprisingly, it takes alot off of your mind...and you slowly (ever so slowly in my case) feel yourself growing closer to Allah SWT. Just a little exercise during these days that I thought I'd share!
salaams irfan! thanks for surfin in. sorry this blog is so inactive and sad. i have nothing to say these days... well... nothing i want to say nonanonymously anyway ;-) anyway, thats a good idea. cuz when u vent to ur mom even, it can still turn into backbiting or complaining. im goin to try that. the ppl driving next to me are goin to think im crazy tho....
Post a Comment
<< Home