letter to my past

Dear A,

its ur long lost saisr buddy again. i hadnt heard from you in a while so i thought i would drop a line. how are you doing? where are you these days? Its been way too long...

i actually found a letter that you had written me from austria last nite. reading it over, i remembered what a wonderful friendship we had. honestly, i spent so much time trying to find you, what school you were at, an email address or number or something, and i was so happy when i finally got in touch with you. so i guess i was a bit disappointed when i didnt hear from you after that first email. i know its been a reallylong time. reading over your letter i realized that our time at saisr was really different for both of us. it was an amazing time for me, a time with lots of achievements and self esteem boosts (a time ive never really regained) but u mentioned they werent ur 'glory days' and i guess i was never really attuned to that.

now ive moved once more and am struggling to find a niche in the newplace (even tho i lived in MI before). i guess being married sometimes puts this barrier between you and your single friends (i know i felt thatwhen my friends got married before me), but it really doesnt have to be like that. ppl think that your a totally different person when you're married, u constantly have someone there by your side, which is true of course. but for me, my friendships are something ive valued a lot and my relationship with my friends is still important. and you have the same fears, the same flaws, the same pet peeves, so marriage doesnt fill all those empty spots. you have to do that on your own not expect someone else to fill them for you.

well.. things are really different from our saudi days. thinking back to them, they were some of the most fun years of my life. however, i regret my behavior in so many ways. i guess i was a really self centered person in a lot of ways. didnt really know what was going on. i thought i wasso mature and so big but i really wasnt. (Im still not haha).

well im not really sure whats up with all this rambling. reading yourletter just reminded me of what a great friendship i thought we had. i guess it just made me think about our relationship and perhaps if i wasnt a good friend or if i didnt let you grow in ways you wanted to. this sounds really dumb doesnt it. i remember when we were running for njhs office for example, and how you wanted to run for pres and so did i. and then i think i convinced u to run for vice, and we ran together. maybe it wasnt the right thing to do... i was stifling your dreams and your goals. and i guess i was thinking maybe thats why it seemed you werent as excited to get back in touch with me as i was with you?? i'm not really sure. anyway, its not like i think about these things all the time or that im stuck in the past, but like i said, i just started thinking when i read ur letter. of course, i do remember what mr malkiewicz told me so long ago, that the friendships we made there werent going to be that significant in a couple of yrs. i so wanted to prove him wrong. and i still feel that those yrs were very important in my development as aperson, as a muslim, as a friend. and of course you were always a part ofthat. so your friendship to me will always be significant. no matter what the future holds or what anyone says.

well i better sign off here, i have no idea what this email was about. i can honestly say i do truly miss you tho. i hope you are doing well and i know you will be the best at anything you pursue. good luck witheverything!

yours,
saba