Dreams

I awake
to a plain white ceiling

i quickly shut my eyes again,
hoping to recapture what occurred
only seconds ago,

i was young.

fifteen.

freedom was seldom a favor granted
but often a treasure stolen.

the night pacificed our energy...

we crossed the sands,
running
while everyone else, in slumber,
oblivious to our rebellion

the world,
for those few hours,
was ours, in the palm of our hand
it stood still.

we ran,
stumbled and fell
and rose again,
ready for a new day,
heartbreak tugging at our sleeve.

our hushed voices
muffled laughter
secret glances
usurped emotions

we lived within walls
that we climbed,
conquered and crossed
they became a part of us....

while bloodshed,
in the back our minds,
wiped out passion, like ours,
in distant lands...

we forged our own treaty
promising to ourselves
childlike temptations
we knew the future promised more,
but we wanted what was in front of us....
and didnt see the need for sacrifice....

we were the here and now.

it seemed we waited all day
for night to come again
when the darkness marked an invitation
our innocence bloomed,
our excitement mounted
we soared together,
trying out our new wings
if the world was ready or not

the taste of youth,
still wet on our lips
we tried to hold on,
to embrace that feeling forever,
knowing it would not,
grasping tighter to keep it from slipping away.

we found refuge
and solace
in each other,
in that serene world
where nothing moved at night

i am awake
nostalgia tugs at my soul
sorrow abounds

that excitement,
disregard
intensity
innocence...

re-visits me night after night
beckoning, calling
taunting

awake
knowing full well it cannot be
i am an adult now
yearning for that taste
and time to slip back....
to envelope me
and deliver me to my youth....

Once in Heaven

Upon reaching that ultimate goal,
and achieving that infinite reward
we sought after in this life,
if we should be so lucky
after attaining the most superb gift from the Divine...
will we miss our place in this world?

upon opening the doors to those
lofty palaces promised
light will fill our endless days....
for those endless nights in prayer
alone.
when you were one with the Lord....
after discovering the promises we aspired to
the vast expanse....
those rolling green hills
discovering the miracle and beauty of contrasting seasons at once,
crystal white blankets....
warmth prickling our skin....
despite experiencing the mighty rewards once abstract now ours,
will we yearn for what once was?

those gutwrenching emotions
now a memory,
we depart conflict,
frustration,
despair....

will we yearn for that final heartbreak experienced
once upon a time?
that heartbreak that left us stronger,
that left our heads high,
and our spirits lifted
and our capacity for love increased

will we yearn for conflict?
that conflict that taught us more with each passing, l
eft us mighter in character,
and one step closer to the perfection we craved....
and instilled in us mercy and forgiveness....

will we call out for failure?
the failure that helped us succeed in the end....
that molded our aspirations,
and challenged us to renew our vows...
the failure that made each success sweet
and left our lips wet with tears....

upon reaching that final destination,
if we should be so lucky....
so blessed
will we turn back,
with one last glance
towards the lush world that bore us....
will we yearn for the elements
that were once deemed evil in this world?
only to realize
that these are the very elements
that nourish us...
that allow us to grow.....
that truly make us alive....

once in heaven,
will we miss our place in this world?